#this should be read in the most monotone voice imaginable

[goingpheral]

Phil wins a subjective Dan vs phil. Words cannot express how shocked we all are. Plot twist of the century.

[muntitled]

Protecting His Investment

Pairings: The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: No one gets to hurt you except him.

Warnings: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Language, Implied Violence, Age gap, God Complex, Brainwashing, Psychopathy, Murder, Blood, Gore, Codependency, Yandere!Salesman, Stalking, Smut (+18) mdni, Voyeurism, Blood Kink, Sadomasocism, Dom!Salesman, Sub!Reader, Choking, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Blood Play, fingering, Massive Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Sadism, Punishments, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Squirting, Overstimulation

A/n: I'm not responsible for the media you consume.

This can be read as a continuation of this fic but not strictly

“Shouldn't I be blindfolded?"

If it weren't for the silence simmering between you both, in this monotonous taxi drive, he might’ve not heard you at all and perhaps you should have been more careful with your choice of wording but you were feeling a tiny bit reckless this Wednesday afternoon. He hadn't ever offered to personally fetch you from campus, and you felt incredibly juvenile when you spotted him standing there like a dad, in his grown-up suit while his briefcase hung in his hands in front of him. You'd almost convinced yourself that you were imagining things. That somehow your obsession with the man who kidnaps you every Wednesday to fulfill all his messed up fantasies was truly taking a toll on your mental health.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he was real. And he had come to pick you up and you were feeling awfully giddy as he ushered you both into a taxi while a few of your peers stood and stared.

By now he would've blindfolded you. Keeping you completely clueless to the location he brings you to every Wednesday. See, your Salesman had myriad deep rooted issues. Mania. Sociopathy. Sadism. But the issue that irked you the very most was his inability to trust. Before you know it, you're pouting up a storm as you ask him. "Why aren't we using the blindfold today?"

He slowly removes his gaze from the window, where he had been pondering like the old man he is. He quirks up an eyebrow, letting the intensity of his attention wash completely over you.

"Would you like to be blindfolded?" He asks playfully. His eyes are sparkling with amusement and his lips are quirked up like it usually is when he's being sardonic. Still, you remain cautious as you lean forward. You send one quick glance to the taxi driver, wondering if you were being led in some kind of hearse on the road to your death.

"A-Are you going to kill me?" For the first time, cold, white fear ices the warm blood rushing through your veins. Come to think of it, he did seem far chirpier than usual. Perhaps that should have been your first warning. The flags were blood red but you were wearing rose-tinted glasses.

He only snickers before placing a heavy hand on your head, patting it down.

He doesn't answer you for the duration of the taxi drive, causing you to slip more and more into your thoughts of morbidity and despair. Why else wouldn't he blindfold you if not to end your life once you got there? It seemed dreadfully logical and so on-brand for him. He'd get bored of you sooner or later and then he'd dispose of you. There'd be no need to blindfold you any longer while he took you to his place because you'd soon become a corpse and-

"Doll." The voice cuts through the chatter filling your brain. All at once, the car has stopped, and warm air rushes into the interior as he holds the door open for you. "Get out of the nice man's car." He jests politely, quickly prompting you to unbuckle your seatbelt and scramble out of the taxi.

The second you're out he walks ahead of you. The building that comes into focus before you have your brows crinkling.

You quickly catch up to him, gazing up at his monotonous face. "Why are we here? You never come to my house."

He doesn't respond as you both walk into the foyer. He walks briskly and powerfully, like a man on the move while you send a small wave to the security manning the front desk. You both enter an empty elevator and he presses a button without you ever having to tell him which floor.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

He lowers his gaze to you, one eyebrow quirked up.

"You only die when you disappoint me and as of late," he stares directly ahead, "You haven't disappointed me."

The elevator dings and he steps out. You follow him like a puppy without a leash. "In fact I'd say your work ethic as of late has been-" he blows out a long sigh as he makes it your apartment door- recalling all the weeks you two have spent together in vivid kaleidoscopic images. All the pain you let him inflict on you and pleasure he'd offer as a reward.

"-nothing short of stellar. I'm proud of you." He punches in the code to your apartment and you both enter. The curtains are drawn shut because your roommate hates sunlight. You preferred it but there was no communicating with something like her.

He kicks off his shoes at the door.

"What are we doing here?" You ask nervously, "My roommate will be back soon and she isn't very nice."

"We won't be playing at my place today." He says finally meeting your wild and nervous eyes. He seems so lax and so in control. "We'll be playing here."

"B-But my roommate."

"Is that why you were crying?" His gaze keeps you rooted to the floors, unable to move even if you wanted to, "Because of your roommate?"

"Crying? I wasn't crying-"

"Back at the university," he says, casually removing a microscopic piece of lint from his grey blazer, "Your head was beant and you looked up at me with bloodshot eyes." His eyes shine with amusement as he says, "Usually with our sessions, the crying only comes later on." Then he quirks his head and asks, "What happened?" There's a bang somewhere in the apartment and your head snaps forward. Your eyes scan over the adjoining living room and kitchen but he seems unfazed.

"It's stupid-" you shake your head, "Like who even still gets bullied in uni?"

You laugh pitifully, leaning against the nearest wall. He stands tall before you. A brick wall.

"Your roommate's threatening to kick you out of this apartment to move her boyfriend in?" He asks before adding, "Again."

Your head snaps up to him, "H-How-"

In that moment, he turns rather robotically, making his way deeper into your home. It's clean. Thank God.

"You don't realize how chatty you get when you're about to orgasm." He says before stopping right outside your closed bedroom door.

"My roommate- she... decided last night that- well- she would really like her boyfriend to live here instead-"

"Without consulting you first?" He clarifies, staring blankly ahead at the door, listening very attentively.

"Y-Yes without consulting me." You bring your hand to the doorknob, on your way to open it but he stops you with an iron grip around your wrist. You wince.

“Continue talking.” He says and you do.

"This morning they both kinda sprung on me that they'd like to be living here now. She went behind my back and already placed the deposit down our landlord, well," you clear your throat. "I might be homeless soon." You laugh but then swallow very thickly as the gravity of the situation falls onto your shoulders.

"And still you decided to have our sessions today?"

"If you'll have me," you nod.

"Remarkable." He replies. "Well I've never been very fond of my things or my toys getting dirty." He begins mysteriously as he places his hand directly over yours on the doorknob.

"Pardon?"

"I can't have my favorite toy living out on the street. Who knows what kind of animals would try to rape you or drug you or fucking stick their slimey dicks inside you-" he turns the doorknob, clicking your room open.

You're not even sure when this started happening. These 'private sessions' with your Salesman that quickly bled into something much more concerning. Before you knew it, he was seeping into your brain, polluting you with obsession. There had never ever been anyone else involved.

"What the hell did you do?" You ask, slowly entering your room to find two chairs placed directly in front of your bed. As soon as you enter, you hear the blood curdling, muffled screams being ripped from the throat of the two people strapped to those chairs.

"I'm protecting my investment," Says your Salesman as he pushes the door closed behind you.

Your feet feel like lead as you watch them and their panic-stricken eyes. There in front of you, they sit opposite one another, both with a haggard countenance and tears streaming down their cheeks.

At the sight of you, your roommate screams something horrid but it's muffled by the gag placed in her mouth, a gag the shape of a dog bone.

He's there too. The boyfriend. He's not as loud or as frantic as she is but he's significantly startled. His eyes are wild and vacant. The same gag.

"Oh my god-" you begin but he cuts in front of you, making his way to the couple seated across from each other.

"We're all gonna play a game- a quick one," He says, "Can't play for too long because I've been dying to get inside you since I saw those pretty little bloodshot eyes."

"Sir- I"

If you knew his name you might've screamed it in this moment. 'Sir' is your only point of reference to address the manic man in front of you.

This isn't right.

Right?

You're so confused, you barely register than you've thought out loud. It hits you as he slowly shrugs his blazer off.

"What isn't right is them thinking they can rape this apartment from underneath you." He says, folding it and placing it meticulously over your desk.

"I- have neighbors!?" You begin but he has a plan for that too.

"I had your room soundproofed since our first session." You're pushed into even more confusion.

"WHAT!? When did you even-"

"While you were at school-" he says before uncovering a handgun from his briefcase. A handgun and a silencer.

"Point is, Doll, I'm going to need you to play a game for me, ok?"

"DOLL!?" Comes your roommates' mortified and muffled cries.

"I need you to make one tiny decision for me." He says, screwing on the silencer onto the barrel of the revolver. It strikes you then that even when the mask is off, and the worst workings of his personality are on display for all to gaze upon, you still find him breathtakingly attractive.

"If-" tears burn the back of your throat, "If this room is soundproof why-why do you need a silencer?"

"I'm nothing if not a cautious man, you know this." Then his expression turns very grave and very dark as he says. "Don't you?"

“Yes, Sir,” you reply almost automatically. Like your need to respond to him- to please him, greatly overpowered your moral compass. “You're extremely cautious.”

Your roommate releases a shrill noise from the very back of her throat, her eyes pleading with the humanity she desperately tries to find in yours.

“Out of these two, he's my least favourite,” Your Salesman says, standing beside you. Eyes wild as he points his gun to the boyfriend's head.

“But this isn't about me,” he turns to face you, slowly dragging you gaze away from the victims that had once been your tormentors. You look up at him with a broken sob slipping through your lips. “I need you to choose.”

There it is.

His words seem to detonate what little fate you had in his humanity. There is nothing in his eyes except hedonism and violence.

"I'm going to have you to choose very quickly, baby-”

You're already shaking your head as frazzled braids tickle your shoulders. Your eyes find theirs and you immediately say, “I'm not going to do it.”

When you look at him again, you're almost horrified to find the smile that had once been on his face, completely wiped away. His face is a shadow and it strikes you way more than anything ever has. Something in you scolds you. It gnaws at you to make things right.

“Don't do that.” He says darkly. “Don't disappoint me.”

His hands -one still holding a gun- moves to cup both your cheeks. He cranes your neck further back, gazing deeply. “I can't have you living on the street.”

“You don't have to kill anyone-”

His jaw ticks, “Pick.”

“Sir…”

“You're disappointing me.”

All it takes is those three words to have your world crashing to the floor. Tears blur your vision as you raise a trembling finger.

“Him. I pick him.”

It's the first time you realized that you were brimming with codependency

Or stupidity.

Or maybe both

“That's a good girl.” He coos, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The father you never had.

He lets his eyes meet that of the boyfriend who is shaking and writhing in seat.

“What a good fucking girl I have, wouldn't you agree?” He asks the boyfriend yet he only cries and cries and cries. Meanwhile, you're bathing in the warm, milky words of praise.

"I suppose you wouldn't be able to agree to much in a second-"

He raises the gun.

Wait-" but the trigger is already pulled, and the bullet slices through the air and the deed is done.

It's remarkable how fast it travels. The speed of the bullet. Like it's competing with light itself. One moment his head is there and his brain is inside it, functioning like usual and the next moment, it's splattered all across my bedroom wall, coating your stuffed animals and drenching your pink bedding.

“You killed someone…”

“We killed someone, and you did such a good job. Now we're real rich people-”

You shake your head.

“Oh my fucking god we killed someone-”

It's stupid, but the first thought that comes to mind is-

“How- How am I gonna get the stain out!?”

“I'll get you new sheets, Doll, I promise…”

Meanwhile the roommate is crying and screaming her throat hoarse. You watch gravely as vomit soaks her gag.

“That's fucking disgusting.” He says before turning back to you. A spray of blood scatters across the side of his handsome face. He'd just committed murder and yet you still describe him as handsome.

“You're not disgusting at all.” He says, “You're so clean and beautiful.” His large hands rub over your face. “And now this apartment's yours. Ours. Maybe.”

Ours.

That word somehow affects you more than the murder you'd just lay witness to. It has you staring up at him with grateful, love-filled eyes. You're still scared but, you were his. And that was a powerful feeling. You'd never belonged to anyone before. Certainly not any man as handsome or smart as this. This isn't rose-tinted glasses anymore, it's rose-tinted vision.

“We killed someone.” You say. Solidifying the fact that you were a couple.

Your heart rages in its cage when his eyes nearly roll to the back of his head.

“Fuck yes we did,” he moans before smashing his lips down onto yours. Confusion and discomfort wage a terrific and bloody war inside you as he kisses you absolutely dizzy. Your insides are swirling and your stomach is turning at the sight of the blood drenching your walls.

he tips your head up, forcing his tongue in and he moans when you let him. Your tongues touch and coax and he pulls you in close.

“You know how good you looked when I picked you up earlier, Doll? I loved seeing those bloodshot eyes of yours.” He mumbles, “I just hated not being the one to make you cry.”

You sob something awful. The sound escapes you while your lips are still plastered to his.

“But this is all me,” he says proudly, gazing down at your watery eyes as he pins you up against the wall. “This is all me.”

Your roommate sits in a daze. Over his wide shoulder, her eyes stare blankly into yours and you almost find yourself mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'.

Almost. But you never do.

Your brain is too clouded by feelings of fear, regret, pleasure and… satisfaction. In your defense her boyfriend really fucking sucked.

"Take this off." He groans, lowering his large build to the floor to shove your shorts and underwear down. Undressing you almost formally as he lifts your one leg out followed by the other.

Your eyes are still on her.

Every vile word she's said to you. Every occasion she'd bring her equally cruel friends over and they'd gossip about you loud enough for their words to carry through the walls.

You realize very gravely that your care is waning.

That humanity that was still left inside you is thinning.

And he's pressing wet kisses against your legs, worshipping the soft cellulite at your thighs.

A man in a suit at his knees for you and she's forced to watch.

It makes you feel so-

"Fucking beautiful, fuck." He groans.

The more riled up he is, the less care he gives to how crass his language becomes. As if trapped in a daze, with your eyes still on your tormentor -your bully- you hook your fingers into his hair. Parting your legs you lead his mouth to your exposed cunt and he slurps you up for all your worth.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he eats you out with vigor. He flattens his tongue and suctions his mouth against your clit, causing a deep and guttural moan to spill from your lips.

He pulls back, breathing raggedly, "Fuck my face," he commands, before placing both hands on your ass, enough to have your cunt riding his open mouth. It feels so fucking good your eyes are stinging with tears. You let them fall because you'd know he'd appreciate it. He appreciates every tear in your confidence. Every waver in your air-tight judgement. It undoes him completely to see you so fucking pathetic.

He looks up at you while you're riding him. Those morally black eyes are urging you to hump his face and you do.

At the sight of your tears falling his nails dig into your ass and you moan more. All the sounds you're able to make are in intelligible sounds of pleasure. But you force yourself to come to your senses. Just long enough to whisper

"Th-Thank you, Sir,"

He stills. Completely stunned.

You come. It crashes down on you all while your roommate tries to squeeze her crying eyes shut, shaking her head as if trying to delude herself into believing none of this is real.

"You are fucking fire, you know that?" He croaks, slowly rising. You're breathing oh so quickly and it only speeds up at the sight of your arousal casting his jaw.

“I wanna fucking hurt you so bad. I wanna eat you. I wanna fuck you. I wanna do so many unspeakable things to you- you're so perfect.”

He throws one more gaze over his shoulder. His almond eyes scan over the body, then the girl and he groans, furiously undoing his belt.

"How the fuck did I get so lucky?” he says, almost to himself.

"Answer me." He presses his body firmly against yours, until your spine is straight against the wall. "Fucking answer me when I talk to you."

He growls before bringing a hand up to your chin. It's painful the way he grabs you, but you're so used to pain. It lives here now. Between you both.

"I-I- don't know-" you really don't know and he melts at that.

"I'll tell you how, Princess. " he wraps your leg around his waist, "People like me- people we call crazy and evil-” His eyes are so wide, his smile too. -we get nice things. And people like that-" he quirks his head backwards, “The weak? Those people on the streets, they die.” He says, grinding his cock agaisnt your cunt, “And we don't die, yeah?"

"Oh fuck." You're seeing stars when his cock sinks into your cunt. It's hard and raging and he's already doing multiple shallow thrusts to force it deeper. "S-So big-" you can't talk, you hardly ever can when he's like this. Fucking you into an absolute frenzy.

"You gonna squirt for me, Doll?” he grits his teeth, hips stuttering as he ravages you against the wall. "F-Fuck." Some

“She's a really good squirter-” he turns his head to watch your roommate over his shoulder. Her head is slumped forward, she's fainted perhaps.

After weeks of trying to impress him, to show him that you were not the weak little thing he had first kidnapped- you realize it's paid off. He caveman grunts as he fucks you deeper and harder and a cry rips itself from your throat.

“Y-You want me?” You ask with trembling lips.

“Baby,” he breathes directly into your mouth. “I need you.”

"F-Fuck-" your orgasm sneaks up on you and he watches with immense gratification as you come undone on his cock.

“You're making a mess on my cock-” clear liquid streams out of hou, threatinging tk lush his cock out but he fucks you through it.

“Gonna fucking cum inside you, baby. You're gonna take it, aren't you? My good girl's gonna fucking take it,” he throws his head back as his eyes flutter closed and soon he's fucking spurts of warm cum into you.

It fills you completely until the mess is coating your thighs. Through your wave of endless euphoria you see stars, the planets and him in the very centre of it all, guiding you and coaxing you through the bountiful high.

Even when he's done, his cock is still nestled deep inside you, pushing you over the brink of stimulation.

"You're very promising.” He admits, “Always have been.”

© to @muntitled on tumblr; do not repost

[thevoidscreams]

For your mating press march: Adeptus Custodes. That’s basically it. Let me be sandwiched and devoted to; make little children of gold. Please?

I imagine this must be ordained by the emperor.

Warnings: Arranged marriage (of a sort), Three way, making out, ball play, you get stuffed like a twinkie.

Word count: 3512

The custodes were only taken from the best houses of the best families on Terra. It had always been that way. They were expected to produce a child as a tithe and most families were glad to give a son or daughter even as soon as the day of birth. But it wasn't always feasible. Even the emperor knew this and thus had alternative options in place for such an event. That should a noble house die out, or be unable to give to the tithe, the still living sons or daughters of these houses that had joined the custodes would carry on the family line.

At least that was the explanation given to your mother and father as a ship arrived that day, unexpectedly and without any prior warning. They had a list of all the young noble women who could possibly handle the task of continuing the lines of not one, but two noble houses. Most women had been exempt on grounds of marriage or infertility or some other health related concern.

That left few to be considered, you were to be taken to the palace of Terra and endure the tests they had to run. Your parents didn't explain much when you returned home. Just telling you to be ready to leave. Not married and having no known prior health concerns you were taken that day with only enough time to gather a small handful of belongings.

It was a terrible shock but the crew sent to gather you, didn't seem to care. In their minds you should have been on your hands and knees, thanking them for giving you this honor.

After a long day of travel you were tired, you missed home and you just wanted to rest but as soon as the ship landed you were crammed into another transport that drove for several minutes before stopping again to deposit you into a facility where you were taken again with little explanation. The tests took hours and were beyond invasive. In all it left you very drained. But you kept your head up, you would not let these people see you bested.

After the tests they brought you into a smaller room. This one was much more comfortable. With a plate of finger foods to help stave off the gnawing in your belly.

A man in robes came in. He was full of augmetics and he had a data slate that he was reading from.

"Your tests have come back with sufficient perimeters. Word has been sent to your family. You are the only successful candidate. Which entails that you will stay here in the palace as such time as you have provided a suitable number of heirs." He spoke in a flat and monotone voice before leaving. "Sufficient? Heirs, plural? What does that mean?"

The door shut with a heavy thump and you were left alone again. What was happening?

An hour passed and the door slid open. A young woman in a serf's uniform came in with a big smile. It seemed forced. "Wow, you are a pretty one, and so lucky! Oh, where are my manners, my name is Jun, I'll be helping you get ready miss. There's a lot to do." Jun led you out and you pressed her for further details. "Where are we?" "Why, miss the holy palace of course." You left the smaller hall where the room had been and found yourself in a grander one. With ceilings so high you could have comfortably fit your whole house in there.

"I-I don't understand. Why am I here?" Jun looked back at you with wide eyes. "Was my lady not informed?" She pressed you more quickly into a hot steamy room, a bath, you quickly realized.

"No, my parents were talking to these people when I got home and then, I was just packed up and shipped off. I have no idea why I'm here."

Jun shook her head as she began to pull layers of clothes from you. "I'm to get you ready for the custodial guards ma'am." "The custodial guard!? But I'm not a warrior." You balked as she helped you step into the bath, giggling at your comment. "No, my lady you are for them. They require more, you are here to help two of the guardians produce heirs." The realization hit you like a warhammer. "I'm to be breeding stock?" "Why do you seem so down ma'am? It is a great honor. And you alone seemed to have met their impossibly high standards." No wonder your parents had shipped you off so quickly. If they hadn't they might have brought down the ire of the god emperor's guardians on them.

You allowed Jun to wash your body and hair, all the while she chirped about how beautiful you were and how lucky and what an honor you'd had bestowed upon you.

When she was done, she dried you off, and a few more women came in to help massage oils into your skin and comb and dry your hair, they had come with clothes of such elegant creation that it had made even your high end designs look like a ganger's rags.

You'd never looked more radiant. Your skin practically glowed and the women all gushed and pampered you. "To think, this will be your life from now on." The sentence didn't fully sink in. But you could surely get used to this. As a woman who looked a lot like Jun began to cut and shape your nails you felt your body relax. Hey, if it meant having some sex every once in a while you could do it if it entailed being treated like royalty.

At last you were ready, the women who had helped prep you brought you to another waiting room, leaving you with well wishes. A door on the other side of the room opened, a towering figure, clad in all gold stood a spear in one hand as the other raised to beckon you. You obeyed immediately, without much thought that you had done it.

"Are you the one I am to.." "No, they are waiting for you." The voice replied, from behind the grill of the helm it was hard to discern who or even what gender they are.

The walk was long and done silently the rest of the way. You had never seen such opulence. The building was like one giant art piece.

You saw more golden giants as you went. They did not move from their stations or even turn their heads. But you could tell that they followed you with their eyes. You weren't sure how.

The custodian sent to gather you stopped and you did as well. They gestured to the doors before you. They were tall and more broad.

"Well, um, thank you. Have a nice day." You mumbled a bit awkwardly to the custodian, who didn't respond and turned to leave.

The doors were unlocked as you pushed your way in. The room looked like the kind you'd seen before at your parent's fancy parties. The kind you usually didn't go into when not in use. With comfortable lounging furniture. A table of wines and refreshments was on the far wall. The only difference was the large bed that you could have laid across several times over. And of course the two towering men stood by the long table of food as you entered. They were handsome, beyond any man you'd ever met. Their faces were angular and symmetrical, one had long blond hair tied up into a bun and the other was black haired but both had similarly grey eyes. They more than met what you expected. In fact they far exceeded anything you could have dreamed of.

"You must be our bride then?" The dark haired custodian spoke. His voice had a rich quality to it, deep and velvety. But what he said had taken you by surprise. "Bride?" You asked.

"You are the woman who was brought to aid in maintaining our houses, are you not?" The blond asked, his voice wasn't as deep but it had warmth to it that his companion's did not.

"That is me, yes. I'm sorry you just referred to me as your bride so I was a bit confused."

"Well then I shall keep this simple for you." The dark haired custodian began. "You are the only candidate to make it here. The others were not up to the standards we require of all women or men who come to us for this express purpose. You have been informed of your duties I have no doubt. But there is more to it than just simple sex and reproduction. An heir cannot come from a broken home. So in accordance with the agreements set forth by the emperor and houses of old, all noble women who are brought to bear the children of a custodes must be wed to them legally."

Your head swam with the information. This was a lot more involved than you thought. "But there's only one of me. Who am I supposed to marry?"

The blond custodes stepped forward, having poured a glass of wine. He sat you on a lounger and gave you the glass. "That is what we will find out soon enough."

"I see. May I ask, what are your names?"

The dark haired custodian spoke first. "I am Zalkiel Tamit and this is Veran Tarcherus."

"It's very nice to meet you both." You smiled and gave them your name, even more nervous than you had been before.

They nodded. "Well met. You have nothing to fear from us, we are on orders not to hurt or kill you unless you attempt to harm us or attempt to escape."

"Oh! Well I wasn't planning on either of those things." You took a sip of the wine, it was sweet and you focused on the flavor instead of the nervousness you felt. "And when will we learn which of you I am to marry?" You asked quietly. "Whenever you are ready." Varen announced, he seemed surprisingly eager.

"Oh well, why wait then?" You finished your wine and set the glass on the small table next to the lounger. "Very well." Zalkiel nodded and began to pull the robes from his body, Varen did as well. You watched as their bodies, muscle bound and gargantuan were unveiled and your cheeks turned nearly as red as the wine as that included their manhood. Wow, they were tremendously nice to look at. And the thought of running your tongue over their bodies crossed your mind rather suddenly.

"Why are you still dressed?" Varen asked, as if he was genuinely perplexed. "Please inform me again how it is I will decide who I am to marry?" Zalkiel saw where your confusion stemmed from and he nodded. "We will both bed you. When you fall pregnant the one who has sired your child will be your husband." You gulped. Well there was no backing out of it. "I see. Well then." You stood and pulled the ties of your dress. It fell from you in a waterfall of fabric as you stepped out bare. Varen made a small noise of appreciation and stepped forward. His hands grasping your shoulders as he knelt down, his lips met yours and you were shocked that his first move was to kiss you, it was such a gentle and sweet gesture. You returned the kiss.

His hands traversed down your sides, more searching than anything else as if he was looking for something. Eventually he pulled away, seemingly satisfied.

Zalkiel's hands trailed up your back and you jumped, you hadn't even noticed that he'd moved. He scooped a hand down behind your knees and the other behind your shoulders. He lifted up and carried you to the bed.

Varen followed close behind. Zalkiel sat on the edge. Holding you tight against his chest as he angled you to face Varen. He took a knee again, but this time he wasn't looking for your mouth. He lowered his head down between your thighs and pressed his mouth softly to your lower lips. He kissed them softly, drawing a quiet moan from you. "She is quite reactive isn't she?" Zalkiel hummed. "My lips barely touched her." "Good, it means the fertility boosters have taken effect." "I'm sorry, the what?" You asked as Varen went back in for a proper taste. As he did Zalkiel tilted your face back to look up at him, his lips captured yours, tongue pressing in quite insistently as he began to make out with you. His calloused fingers brushed over your nipples making you hum into the kiss.

Varen had dug in, his mouth fully covering your soft mound, his tongue lapping up everything your body offered him. He could taste how fertile you were. Good timing, he thought to himself satisfied. He looked up to see his oldest friend had claimed your mouth. Zalkiel was like a brother to him. If there was anyone he'd trust to share a wife with it would be him. If all went well, their efforts combined with that of their master of genetics you could end up belonging to them both.

Varen felt the exact moment your body began to cum and he pulled away. You whined into Zalkiel's mouth, but he did not let your mouth go. Wanting to keep your mouth for himself for the moment. Varen grinned as he lined his cock up with your entrance. Despite being absorbed in the kiss you glanced at the blond custodes from the corner of your eye. His cock was nothing to sneeze at and you prepared for the burning you knew would come any moment now. But it never did, even as he pushed in, there was heat and immediate pleasure. You cried out against Zalkiel's lips. His arms barred around you and he laid back, Varen took your thighs in hand and began to thrust. You broke the kiss, mush to Zalkiel's displeasure and he expressed it by taking your shoulder into his mouth, he nipped hard enough to hurt but not enough to break the skin. Careful that he should not do any permanent damage. He pressed his face into your neck and growled. Varen was getting all of your attention now as he fucked you, all of your sweet noises were for him. Veran noticed the sour look on his friend's face and chuckled. He patted the dark haired custodian's arm twice and he let go of your body. Varen pulled out again right as you had been about to cum and you nearly swore at the giant for doing it. You didn't have time however as Varen flipped you like a pancake, putting you chest to chest with the scowling Zalkiel. Pushing back in Varen forced you forwards, Zalkiel took the opportunity to hold your chin again and bring you back into a smothering kiss. His mouth worked with yours as you took it from the behind from another custodes. His own cock had stirred from your ass pushing into it but no he had nothing to grind against. He however knew he could be patient. He would get his turn.

You however had noticed the stiff member between his legs and reached down for it. Zalkiel stiffened as he felt you grab it. Almost pulling your hand away, but he relaxed as the hand began to stroke. It wasn't nearly enough but Zalkiel liked the touches nonetheless. "She seems to like your mouth Zalkiel." Varen noted. Zalkiel hummed in response and opened his eyes to meet Varen's gaze. "What have you in mind?" He inquired, pulling away from the kiss just long enough to ask before returning his mouth to yours.

Varen motioned for him to move up the bed. Zalkiel didn't want to stop kissing you, but he humored Varen. He hauled himself up until you were between his legs. "Right there." Varen told him. He listened. "Now, why don't you have this good girl here put that mouth of hers to work elsewhere." You followed the line of logic, even if it felt like your brain had been being stirred up at the same time as your pussy. Taking hold of the cock in front of you, you kissed to tip, smearing his precum over your lips. Zalkiel watched as you licked it off, and his cock twitched in your hand at the sight. kissing his cock again, you pressed a line of them down the length, stopping only when you got to his balls. They were huge, at least from what minimal experience you had and you cupped one in your hand, one alone was enough to fill your palm. Furthermore it was heavy, very heavy. you kissed it and Zalkiel was left biting back a soft cry. He liked the way your mouth felt and in such a sensitive area, it was new to him. You kissed them again, taking both into your hands and giving them a gentle squeeze. His cock twitched and a fresh bead of precum gleamed at his tip. Giving them one last kiss, you begin to kiss your way back up, leaving a trail as you kiss and licks up the underside of his cock. Zalkiel reclined more, until you got to his tip, your lips sealed around it and you sucked, his hips jumped, forcing more of him into your mouth. You had an idea through the haze of sexual pleasure that Varen was bestowing upon you and gave his balls another squeeze. You were rewarded with a fresh slick of salty pre and you happily licked him clean, repeating the process several times. Zalkiel didn't know his mind was capable of feeling this fogged. And from the look he saw on Varen's face he knew he was experiencing the same thing.

Zalkiel could only imagine that if your mouth felt this good your pussy would be something else entirely.

Varen was finding it hard not to watch what you were doing to his best friend. Watching you work his cock he knew he needed to get some of that for himself. You leaned over you and began to drive his hips harder and his cock deeper. You seemed to loose all higher thought process as he fucked you through your first proper orgasm, then another as he growled down at you, pumping a fat load into your cervix and likely your womb.

He dismounted once he was done, allowing Valkiel to tug you up onto his lap. His cock was no less impressive and you gotta feel it first hand inside you. Zalkiel had been holding back the need to cum down your throat, even if he was tempted to he knew the most sperm would be in this first load and he needed to ensure he got as much into you as possible.

Varen settled next to the other custodes and watched him happily use your cunt to satisfy his needs. His hands had encircled your waist and you simply held on as he lifted your hips for you, and drew you back down. He grinned and gently touched your chin, when you looked over to the blond he captured your lips, kissing you deeply. You moaned and returned the kiss feverishly. As expected Zalkiel growled and pulled you away. He rolled your smaller frame under his so he fuck you and keep have more of your kisses as he plowed you into the sheets. Zalkiel hadn't known how long he would last but he felt like a man starved of something vital as his orgasm began to build again deep in his stomach. He wrapped his arms under you and held you to his chest.

He came with a groan, filling you up all the way. You laid under him, entirely stuffed and sleepy. Zalkiel rolled you onto your side and pulled you into his chest. Varen had gone and returned quickly. In his hand a plug to hold in the cum. Zalkiel helped lift your thigh and Varen slipped it in before pulling a blanket up over the three of you and settling in. You were fast asleep. "What do you think?" Zalkiel asked. "I like her, I did not think I would feel anything but a sense of obligation during this. But I believe I could be truly fond of this small woman." He brushed a bit of hair out of her face and Zalkiel nodded. "I am glad she passed inspections." He pressed a kiss to your temple and smiled. "As am I. We should let her sleep as long as her body needs." Zalkiel watched your peaceful expression with growing fondness. "Indeed, even if I am now eager," Agreed Varen, "we will get to know our wife over breakfast tomorrow."

You slept soundly as they kept watch, which was good, you would end up needing your energy for your new husbands in the morning.

[sorencd]

ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU

little moments with neil that you’ll never forget. cw: the moldy peaches

you’re a part time lover and a full-time friend,

“i promise you neil, if you even think of dropping me.”

your hands held an iron-grip on your forearms which wrapped around neil’s neck, trying so hard to steady yourself with how wobbly he’s walking right now.

“i don’t know, i think i’m feeling kind of tired right now.”

he started drooping lower to the ground, his voice cracking with each step. you could feel the smirk through his words.

“neil!” you squealed, hiding your face in his neck, bracing for impact.

but instead of feeling the rough, hard ground— you felt neil standing up straight. he was also laughing.

“i hate you.”

he smiled, “i love you more.”

the monkey on your back is the latest trend.

“i think he likes me.”

neil smiled from across you, disregarding the book he was reading a second ago and started petting the stuffed-toy on his back with tenderness as if it really was alive.

“yeah, you two look the same, too.” you teased, giving the monkey a pet as well.

“haha, you’re very funny.” neil monotonously replied, but a grin still evident on his lips, “i’m taking that as a compliment.”

you laughed, amused by his reaction. you took a hold of his cheek and stretched it like your grandmother used to, “i’ve been practicing.”

“you should be a clown one day.”

i don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you.

“hello? are you even listening.” your friend deadpanned, upset that you weren’t responding to a thing she was saying.

“what- i was, i mean- i am. i still am.”

she sighed, rolling her eyes with a huff. “look, i get it you’re madly in love, just don’t shove it in my face, please and thank you.”

you were fixated on neil, he was playing on the field with his friends and he just looked, surreal. he still had his hair all tidy, despite being drenched in sweat. he looked breathtaking, despite looking like an absolute mess. he also looked very kissable, too.

“why do i even bother?” your friend laughed and lightly shoved you, pulling your attention back at her.

“yeah—i agree.”

i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,

the loud resounding horn of the train in the distance echoed loudly in the tree-covered valley. you and neil sat on the edge of the cliff, hand on top of the other’s, listening to the crickets chirping.

“i think getting on a train once would be nice. the view would be amazing!” you said in a soft tone, imagining the different scenery you’d be able to witness alongside neil. imagining a world outside your everyday life.

neil chuckled, looking at your eyes with so much adoration. he could almost envision it all himself as well. the amazing scene he’d have in front of him—a quaint small room just for two, dozens of trees and fields and natural life passing by; almost enough for him to write hundreds of poems about. but most beautiful of them all—you.

the scene in his mind was could never beat the moment he’s living in right now, however. you’re eyes—reflecting the bright stars above, giving his life another light within him. he could almost kiss you, and he decided he will.

“(y/n).”

you turned your head, raising your eyebrows with a smile. his nose was only a few inches away from yours, and the close proximity got your blood running up to your cheeks.

“can i kiss you?”

now you could really feel the heat across your face. with a small nod, you closed your eyes and puckered your lips.

neil let out a soft laugh, “if only you could see how cute you are right now.”

“just kiss me already, perry.”

i kiss you all starry-eyed, my body swinging from side to side.

his lips felt soft on yours, and his hands were holding your cheeks—somewhat grounding you. your entire body was pulsing with electricity, it was like you could implode any moment.

unfortunately, neil parted his lips from yours, giving you the relieving breath you didn’t know was taken away from you. and you stared, stared at him with star-struck eyes that was being illuminated by the street light, your pajamas crumpled between your fingers.

“that- you were-“ neil struggled to form a proper thought, still buzzing from the kiss.

“i love you.” you blurted, filling the silence and overlapping the chirping of the crickets. realizing the words that left your mouth, you turned your back against the awestruck boy in a rush and blurted ‘talk to me tomorrow’ before running away in a flurry of emotions.

“i love you too.” neil muttered with a small smile, his cheeks adorning a pink color of his own.

i don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you.

“(y/n),” neil whined with a grin, holding in the laughter that’s begging to be let out while simultaneously trying to keep his pajamas up. “stop pulling on my pants! you’re pulling my underwear along with it!” he desperately pleaded, walking away with your hands gripping the fabric with such strength.

“exactly.”

neil pulled on harder, he was laughing loudly now, enjoying the playful tug-of-war you two were having. before suddenly, you heard a tear.

you stared into neil’s eyes, and he stared back into yours before letting go.

“(y/n).”

“neil before anything i just want to say i love you.” you waved your hands in front of you, slowly walking towards the door facing neil. to your surprise, he jolted towards you with a smile, and ripped pants, causing you to run like there’s no tomorrow.

“please—let’s talk about this!”

[axcel-lucci]

Why?

(Trafalgar Law x fem!reader)

A/n: I haven't done this lol. (Also, I haven't read the novel so don't butcher me)

My masterlist

"Take me with you." (Y/n) exclaimed calmly as Law, Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin prepare to set off.

"And why should I?" Law, being "cool", asked.

"Do you really know what you're doing?" She said in her usual monotone voice and professional expression.

Law stammered with a huff.

He and (y/n) had an... Interesting relationship.

(Y/n) is just the niece of Wolf's regular customer and friend. They would usually just sit at the side as the adults talk about plants and machines and old man stuff...

"I know what I'm doing, thank you." Law frowned as (y/n) raised a brow.

"Really? You tied the sails wrong. It'll slip away." She said with a slight frown as Law heats up in embarrassment.

"I--! That was intentional!"

(Y/n) kept silent as she stared at him blankly.

"F-fine! You can come..." Law pouted. Despite being 17, he's a bit... Pouty. Like a child at most.

Wolf was crying hysterics for some reason... (Y/n) refuses to understand why as it's some human thing to do so...

Years passed by like a blur and the crew slowly expanded from what used to be 5 members, now there's 20. Not counting the captain.

The four has grew as well. Especially Bepo. To imagine that small and timid bear is now almost as big as a normal bear. Just white and still shy.

(Y/n)? Not so much... Maybe physically, sure, but she kept that monotone voice and professional expression of hers with a blank stare. But Law can read her... Sometimes...

Her main job now was to be his personal scribe. After all, with such a crew, there's bound to be a boat load of papers for research and future plans. As well as handling costs and repairs and maintenance. There's just too many for him to shoulder at once.

(Y/n) is currently filing a few paperwork.

"(Y/n)-ya." Law called behind her, "me and the crew wants to go bar hopping. Wanna come?"

He's being sleazy as usual. It makes him look like a drug dealer despite him being a doctor and surgeon.

"Bar hopping? You know I don't drink and I have these papers to finish."

"Right... You don't drink... What do you even do for fun?" Law smirked as he walked over, his kikoku in hand.

"I guess books? They're fun."

He scoffed with an amused chuckle as he leaned back against the desk she was working on. "I guess they're fun and all... Anywho, I should stay as well to keep you company. I'd hate it for my scribe to be all alone." He teased.

She stared at him before pinching his side making him yelp with a loud gust of a laugh. "Hey!"

"Captain! You coming?" Penguin smiled

"No, I'm staying." Law shook his head as penguin nods and left.

"That seriously hurt dude." Law frowned as he cried a little.

"Stop acting so sleazy. You look like a wet rat." She frowned at him as he grabbed a chair nearby and sat down beside her.

"Now that is hurtful. Is this how you treat your captain?"

"Drama queen."

"Psh."

Eventually, he ended up helping her with things.

Once they were finished, they lounged out on the deck, just laying on the floor and staring out into the stars.

"Do you like the stars, captain?" She asked quietly

"Yeah... I think they're cool..." He muttered, "do you think... Do you think the stars are souls?"

"They're made up of hydrogen, helium, and other elements. Making them a hot ball of gas."

"..."

"..."

"You ruined the mood."

"... Sorry..."

Next day...

"Captain. Did you eat my pudding?" (Y/n) glared at him from behind as Law froze

"What? Of course not!"

"No eye contact, sweating, eyes darting around, crooked smile. You... Little..."

Before she could even do anything, Law used his ability to switch her with Shachi who was just peacefully eating some cake.

"M-my cake..." Shachi pouted.

...

They soon arrived at an inhabited island. While the crew went around to scavenge what they could, (y/n) and Law were out looking for medical herbs and looking out for new plants to study.

"Captain... Look at this." She said as Law walked over and kneeled down beside her.

Right in front of them was a flower with long, white petals that faded to blue, the center of it is oddly colored to a deep red that can resemble blood, it's stem was a somewhat discoloured green, and it's height was a little over than a foot.

"Oh... New plant?" Law asked as (y/n) drew the flower on their shared notebook

"Yes. May we take it for examination?" She asked as she put away the notebook.

"Of course. Be careful, though. It might be dangerous." He said as he stood up and stand back

She took out her mask and gloves as well at the tube she's going to put the plant in. She scooped it up with it's roots and carefully placed it in the tube before sealing it.

"Shall we continue?"

"Of course."

Back at the sub, they worked together to research on the plant. It was simply named "white flower" in the various books but no inquiry as to what it is.

After a brief examination, it was concluded that the petals can be used for different things with different methods.

Crush it up with a little water, and you can make lube. Turn it into powder, it can become a good cleaning agent. Make it into a pillow, it could be used as an effective birth control.

However, it's roots and leaves are highly dangerous that can possibly give whoever ate or injected with it some serious pain but not enough for it to kill a person.

Aside from those, it's pollen and stem is highly recommended as a cure for headache and stomach ache.

"Such a small flower... Yet it was different qualities..." (Y/n) muttered, "shall we incubate and plant more of these for our research, captain?"

"Hmm... Yes. However, make sure it's separated until we're sure it's pollens aren't contagious." Law ordered as she nodded briefly.

"Understood."

[yokumirumerafan]

MHA boys x reader (cringe romance)

OK, this is PURE cringe and secondhand embarrassement. Merafan brain wasn't merafaning so just read what we have.

MHA Boys Being the DUMBEST Shits in a Relationship with Y/N 😭💀

⚡ Kaminari Denki – Walking, Talking Embarrassment

Tries to flirt but ends up shocking himself mid-sentence.

“Babe, you’re like… a socket, and I’m the plug—WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS BAD.”

Sent Y/N a selfie captioned “thinking about u 🥺” but forgot he had a filter on that made him look like a clown.

Once tried to carry Y/N bridal style but tripped over air and fell face-first into a bush.

🟢 Izuku Midoriya – Overanalyzing the Relationship Like It’s a Battle Strategy

“Okay, so if I hold Y/N’s hand at a 45-degree angle, it exerts 3.6 newtons of force—”

Writes a training plan for their relationship. “Phase One: Hold hands comfortably. Phase Two: Hug for more than 2.5 seconds—”

Blushes so hard when Y/N calls him cute that he forgets how to breathe.

Almost wrote Y/N’s name in his hero notebook under “greatest threats” because they make his heart weak.

💥 Bakugo Katsuki – Aggressively Cringe

“Oi, dumbass, I made you food, so eat it or I’ll blow up this entire house.”

Insists he’s not the jealous type, then glares daggers at literally everyone who breathes near Y/N.

Tries to be romantic but ends up screaming. “I LIKE YOU, OKAY?! WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT SO LOUD?!”

Thinks “subtle flirting” means insulting Y/N but somehow making it sound like a compliment.

🧊 Todoroki Shoto – Emotionally Constipated Awkward King

Texts “good night” at 6 PM and “good morning” at 3 AM.

“I read in a book that couples should communicate their emotions. So… how does this make you feel?” proceeds to stare blankly for 5 minutes.

Tries to do something spontaneous like dip Y/N while dancing but forgets to hold them up and just drops them.

Told Y/N “You make me feel warm” and then sat in silence because he didn’t know what to say next.

🌙 Tokoyami Fumikage – Edgelord BF Who Takes Himself Too Seriously

“You are the moonlight to my abyss… the shadow to my eternal night.”

Wrote Y/N an actual gothic poem and performed it in a candlelit room with Gregorian chants playing in the background.

Accidentally called Y/N “My Dark Mistress” in public and has never recovered from the shame.

Dark Shadow roasts him daily. “Dude, just call them babe like a normal person.”

🔴 Kirishima Eijiro – Puppy Energy, No Brain Cells

Genuinely thought Y/N was breaking up with him when they said “we need to talk” but they just wanted to ask what pizza toppings he liked.

Once called Y/N “bro” mid-kiss.

Got stuck in his shirt while trying to look hot in front of Y/N and had to be rescued.

Keeps accidentally flexing mid-conversations. “So babe, what do you wanna eat? Oh sorry, did you see my bicep just now?”

📦 Sero Hanta – Tries to Be Smooth, Fails Miserably

Slid into Y/N’s DMs with “Are you duct tape? Cuz I’m stuck on you.” And immediately regretted it.

Once tried to wrap his arm around Y/N’s shoulder but miscalculated and punched them in the face instead.

Tripped over his own tape while trying to impress Y/N with a “cool” hero move.

Calls Y/N “babe” with 100% confidence but dies inside every time he does it.

🦿 Iida Tenya – Overly Formal Dork Who Thinks He’s Smooth

“Y/N, I must inform you that you look rather ravishing today.”

Bowed after complimenting Y/N and hit his head on the table.

“Before we kiss, let me file the appropriate relationship advancement paperwork.”

Almost ran after Y/N when they held his hand for the first time because he didn’t know how to process it.

😴 Aizawa Shouta – The Most Low-Effort Boyfriend to Ever Exist

Date night? More like “nap on the couch while Y/N talks about their day” night.

Instead of texting “good morning,” just sends “mhm.”

“I love you” but in the most monotone voice imaginable.

Once called Y/N “kid” out of habit and immediately facepalmed into oblivion.

👑 Villains Being the Dumbest in Love

☠️ Shigaraki Tomura – Cringe Overlord

Once texted Y/N “U up?” at 3 AM but deleted it when they didn’t respond in 0.2 seconds.

Thinks “romantic dates” mean playing video games for 12 hours straight while Y/N watches.

“I’m bad at emotions but like… I guess I’d disintegrate anyone who hurt you. That’s romantic, right?”

Tried to give Y/N his hoodie but realized it was his only hoodie.

🔥 Dabi – Fake Smooth but Actually a Mess

Calls Y/N “doll” but stutters when they flirt back.

“Heh, you’re kinda cute” and then turns bright red when Y/N says “You too.”

Thought bringing Y/N to an abandoned warehouse was “romantic.”

Once tried to wink at Y/N but accidentally closed both eyes and walked into a wall.

🎭 Mr. Compress – Theatrical Idiot in Love

Does dramatic spins before giving Y/N a single flower.

“Ah, my love, you have captivated me like an audience at a grand performance.”

Tries to impress Y/N with magic tricks but always messes up the final reveal.

Tripped over his cape once while trying to bow to Y/N.

😂 Twice – Chaotic Himbo BF

“I love you!” “Wait, no I don’t! YES I DO—”

Once held both of Y/N’s hands and then tried to pull them into a hug but ended up knocking both of them over.

Compliments Y/N aggressively. “YOU’RE THE PRETTIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN, DON’T ARGUE WITH ME!”

Bought matching outfits for them but got the wrong sizes and had an existential crisis.

Conclusion: Dating an MHA boy = secondhand embarrassment for life. 😭

[mikhailwrites]

The road / Ghost x Soap

Kinktober #8 - Napping together (from the SFW prompt list)

Return to the base is by far Soap’s least favourite part of any deployment. The deal is done; there’s no more danger, there’s no objective—only the countless hours spent on the road or in the air.

Thankfully, Ghost knows him well enough by now and provides some comfort.

Return to the base is by far Soap’s least favourite part of any deployment. The deal is done; there’s no more danger, there’s no objective—only the countless hours spent on the road or in the air. Adrenaline has fizzled out of his system, leaving him tired and way too lucid at the same time. The flights and rides home are when the regrets register. What went wrong, what could he have done better, what are the lessons to learn. Most of the time, it’s completely useless. The reflection and analysis only make sense with a level of distance. So soon after the mission, there’s no way he can see the full picture and disregard irrelevant information. He knows all this, yet is unable to stop his brain.

Soap startles as something big and heavy flops down on the bench next to him. In the low, red-tinged light of the cargo bay, he can’t make out much. Soap relaxes the moment he realises it’s Ghost.

“Ghost?” he addresses his Lieutenant over the comms as the plane engines are too bloody loud.

There’s no answer, but suddenly, there is Ghost’s arm around Soap’s shoulders, pulling him close. Soap goes willingly, leaning against Ghost’s solid frame. Johnny sighs, feeling the tension gradually leave his body.

“Better?” The soothing timbre of Ghost’s voice sounds intimately close in the comms.

“Aye,” Soap admits, leaning on Ghost more. “Could you… keep talking? Please?” That’s a tall order, and they both know it. Between the two of them, there’s only one talker, and it’s not Ghost.

Ghost hums, clearly contemplating the request. “What would you have me say?”

“Anythin’ really,” Soap closes his eyes, too tired to explain his request.

“Alright,” Ghost’s arm tightens around Johnny’s shoulders, providing even more comfort. There was never any need for him to explain, Ghost knows him well enough by now. He thinks for a minute, searching his memory for something that wouldn’t be a horrible choice, like quoting the field manual or telling some horrible jokes. Both of those have a place in their communication, especially their infamous banter, but it doesn’t fit this moment. A possibility presents itself, and Ghost goes with it. It’s unusual, but he has a feeling that Johnny might appreciate it. “On the far side of the river valley the road passed through a stark black burn. Charred and limbless trunks of trees stretching away on every side. Ash moving over the road and the sagging hands of blind wire strung from the blackened lightpoles whining thinly in the wind.”

Soap filters out everything except Ghost’s nearly monotonous voice, which actually suits the picture he’s painting with his words. It feels melancholic. “’S nice… what is it?” Johnny asks, already on the verge of sleep.

“The Road by Cormac McCarthy. You should read it sometime.”

“Mmm… maybe I will… tell me some more.” He probably won’t read it. Soap’s never been one for reading, unable to focus on the pages for more than fifteen minutes before his mind starts to multitask. However, he’s reasonably sure he could listen to Ghost read him a book. Soap tries to imagine them huddled in a bed like that, simply enjoying a cosy evening. The world could go fuck itself for once.

Ghost rakes his memory for the continuation of the story. “Farther along were billboards advertising motels. Everything as it once had been save faded and weathered. At the top of the hill they stood in the cold and the wind, getting their breath. He looked at the boy. I'm all right, the boy said…,” Ghost trails off as he realises Soap has fallen asleep. Ghost’s gentle chuckle is hidden under the harsh skull mask.

Simon has always considered himself a man of violence—someone who can only take and never give back. Soap has changed that. Not the reality, merely Simon’s perception of self. He’s gentle with Johnny, and, as much as he struggles to understand it, he seems to be able to bring the man peace. It’s a new, uncharted territory, one he’s keen on exploring more.

Carefully, Simon makes himself a little bit more comfortable, resting his chin on Johnny’s mohawk as he, too, closes his eyes and lets his mind drift off.

[faneliansficaloh]

A Lifetime of Happiness

(Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 3) (Ch 4) (Ch 5) (Ch 6) (Ch 7) (Ch 8) (Ch 9) (Ch 10) (Ch 11) (Ch 12) (Ch 13) (Ch 14)

This is Chapter 15

Read in AO3

Notes

----------

16th January 1818

Dear Colin,

As I only have the one child, I have no use for your strategy. Abby is a very sweet child, she gives me more joy than trouble. I’ve heard that this might change in the next months, but I don’t think so. There is something in the way she looks at things that tells me she has more interest in learning and making the world work for her than quarrelling with it.

Eloise tells me I only say these things because it is my baby and she might be right. She already calls me mama, so to me she is the smartest and most beautiful girl in the world.

Am I supposed to pity you that your duties include lavish dinner parties? Poor man, having to endure the society of the Portuguese elite. It sounds to me like your true intention was to brag and if so, you should do so openly. Tell me about the people you meet and the things you learn.

As the weather improves here we will see more of our neighbours. The Hylton’s are most amiable and they will send us a gift of preserves or a bushel of fruit on occasion, and we respond in kind. Their eldest grand daughter, Virginia, plays the pianoforte beautifully, she reminds me of Francesca she plays so well, and her sister Beatrice has a very beautiful singing voice. You might remember them, they were at our little party in London before Alfred left. Margaret does play the harp but we have not brought one with us. I regret not being more musically inclined myself, for unless there is a party we do not have any means to to enjoy music at home. I never stood a chance to play properly, however, always felt my hands were too small and my reflexes too slow to reach all the keys on time. As for my singing voice, let’s just say that Prudence is more gifted.

The way you’ve described the ocean at night and the gentle rain, I am growing very curious about the journal describing your voyage. Was it monotonous or did every day present a different view? Even when it is perfectly fixed in place, the view from my window changes constantly, although subtly. The clouds that come and go are never the same shape and the colours of the sky when the sun is low in the horizon do vary with them. The hillside takes longer to change, but it will grow green, then will be full of colourful dots and eventually go to a muted hay colour before white snow covers it completely. Flocks of birds will swirl around at dusk, looking for a place to pass the night among the trees on the south side.

I cannot imagine all that can change aboard a moving ship, sailing so far away over the deep ocean, so you will have to tell me.

Yours, Penelope.

1815 – A Celebration

Lord Debling had proposed at the Boehms’ on the 21st of June. It was a Wednesday and the most extraordinary coincidence had occurred, that just as he asked her to be his wife, people around the bench they were sitting on started hurrying up to the windows or out to the street, so when she actually accepted, he looked around and having made sure no one was paying attention to them, he had kissed her. It had been a very quick and soft kiss and she had been completely caught off guard so they both had smiled like mischievous children.

The next morning Penelope’s bedroom door opened and in came Eloise with indecipherable pursed lips. The light entering from the window made it seem as if fairy dust danced around her. As soon as the door closed behind her, Eloise produced the latest Whistledown and started to read from it.

“To those who doubt Miss Featherington’s means to secure such an admirable match, allow me to offer that Lord Debling was once overheard admiring the lady’s eloquence. Proof enough that the man must be truly charmed by her, for whoever has exchanged more than a greeting with Miss Featherington can attest to the contrary. Whether it is a love match or not, this author congratulates them both.” She put it down and stared directly at Penelope, who had been listening to her from her bed, looking rather amused. “Even when congratulating yourself?”

Penelope, who was sitting in her bed, crossed her arms. “It is intended to be a bit fun, Eloise. There is no fun in just saying ‘so and so are to be married’ and not add anything to it.”

“If you say so.” She rolled her eyes before changing direction “By the look of things downstairs it seems your mother is not wasting any time”

“I think she started even earlier, probably from the day he asked for her permission to propose. I’m afraid to interfere with the engagement party at all, I might lose a limb if I oppose anything. But it is all in exchange for the wedding itself being a simpler affair”

“What is the plan, once you are done for, I mean?” Eloise smiled playfully as she sat on the bed besides Penelope and reached for a macaroon from the box next to her.

“After the wedding breakfast we will depart for Surrey, and then I will spend the next months preparing to run things in his absence for a long, and as of yet uncertain amount of time”

“I thought he would leave immediately” she said with her mouth full.

“No, they are to set sail on April and then it will take a couple of months or so for them to arrive to the point where the last exploration stopped, and they will continue on from there.”

“It all sounds so daunting, Pen.” Eloise’s worry showed in her face “There is still plenty of time for you to change your mind” she took her hand in hers as she said this.

“I don’t want to change my mind. I am very lucky, El. Lord Debling is a good man so I do not fear utter misery in my future, I actually enjoy his company, and the fact that his research keeps him occupied and even away for such long periods of time will allow me to keep writing.”

“It is all very sensible and practical, yes.” She didn’t sound very convinced that this was really good for her friend.

“What I don’t find sensible is your new found friendship with Cressida of all people”

“I’m not sure that I trust her enough to call her my friend, and we’ve only truly talked a couple of times, but I have learned to see some qualities in her.”

“Qualities!” Penelope seemed offended at the thought.

“Have you noticed how she always knows what to say to upset you – to upset anyone? She has this uncanny ability to read people, as much as she hasn’t touched an actual book in years”

“What do you mean read people?” She looked at Eloise like many people did, regularly – as if she had said something unintelligible.

“She has a very quick understanding of how people feel, not just how they act, but how they truly feel or what motivates them. It is terrifying but it is also illuminating.”

“What has she told you?” Penelope was growing suspicious of what seemed to be admiration for her greatest foe coming from her best friend.

“You will need to find her a husband, since you snatched the last good one” she said, with her mouth full.

“Eloise, what did she tell you?” Penelope looked at her admonishingly.

Eloise turned to look at the ceiling, as if recalling and started counting her transgressions with her fingers “Apparently I am a terrible listener, I’m all talk and judgemental and – unintentionally, I have to say—cruel” She blushed profusely.

“You’re not cruel! And pointing out your insecurities is not an admirable trait.”

“I agree, but these weren’t even things I was insecure about simply because I wasn’t even truly aware of them, you see? But now that I am aware of these things, I can try to work up the courage to actually do something and focus my powers on that. And I have been inadvertently cruel in my dismissal of other women simply because we have different interests and I will… I will try to listen more carefully. That includes you, Pen.”

Penelope smiled sweetly at her dear friend, reaching to press her hand reassuringly “And you got all that from talking to Cressida?”

“Quite by accident, but yes. You see, she was obviously trying to be hurtful, but it helped me reflect, so the joke’s on her.”

“I do not want to imagine a world where she actually educates her mind”

“She would be bloody unstoppable” Eloise mused.

***

The week that followed was all Lady Featherington had been dreaming of since the day she had presented her daughters to the Queen. She spared no expense to throw the lushest party in her power to celebrate the engagement of her youngest daughter to a Baron.

The Featherington gardens had never looked so full of colour, not even when in full bloom – Portia had chosen to have a garden party since Lord Debling was a naturalist, after all. There were long ribbons adorning the hedges and the canopy over the food was made in multi coloured fabric. Portia had decided against ostrich feathers in long vases only because it had been the only thing Penelope actually protested against. Even the weather had cooperated and had provided a clear sky and fresh breeze that afternoon.

“Why aren’t you happier? It is your party” Phillipa had a look of what Penelope could not believe was concern, even while she took a bite of finger food as she waited for her answer.

“I am happy, only overwhelmed by the attention, I guess. I’m not used to getting so much of it” As she said this, Lord Debling smiled at her from across the garden, where he was talking with Mr. Finch and Mr. Dankworth, who were surely providing much needed advise on dealing with Featherington women.

“But you are always complaining that no attention is paid to you. So what is it? Do you want attention or not? Because you always made sure to withdraw and hide away, just to bellyache next about how no one cares about you” Phillipa said the last part rather dramatically, mockingly.

“I would not have been so keen to distance myself if once in a while a kind word were to be said for my benefit. But you were always mocking me and pointing out everything that was wrong with me.” She responded defensively.

“And you were always putting us down as if we were ignorant dunderheads unworthy of your time. It’s just what sisters do, isn’t it? We had fun teasing each other” She smiled, as if recalling a very fond memory, to Penelope’s shock.

“Fun? It was not fun for me!” She was truly flabbergasted.

“It wasn’t? So you really cared what we said? Why ever would you?” This seemed to be a revelation to Philippa.

“Of course I cared! You are my sisters and are supposed to love me, and if you saw me that way – a ridiculous, ugly person, well, I didn’t want others to see it as well.”

“Good grief, Penelope! Why do you care so much about what others think about you? The only one whose opinion you should care for is your future husband, and not for everything, mind you. I could hardly take anyone in this house seriously, we are such a ridiculous family.”

“What do you mean?” Penelope was truly astounded by her sister’s attitude.

“You see, Mother is always worrying and making a big deal about all sorts of things as if the world were to come crumbling down any second, and father would never even bat an eye about anything, like nothing ever mattered at all. I gathered that things might not be going exceedingly well, but they weren’t terrible either, you know?”

Penelope gave it some thought “So, you thought that making any effort was not worth it because mama would keep on always making it all to be a catastrophe, and papa would not even care one way or another, is that what you mean?”

“Exactly! Why would you care what anyone else thinks, isn’t everyone a bit ridiculous too?”

“That is an interesting perspective, Philippa. But Prudence cares a great deal, too, does she not?”

She shook her head “Prudence only cares what mama thinks, which is why I tease her.” She said this loud enough for Prudence to hear, as she approached them.

“What are you two going on about?” Prudence asked them but was looking out behind them as she waited for an answer.

“Our childhood. Penelope resents us, Prue because we were mean to her” Philippa said with a cattish smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were we supposed to coddle the little baby?” Here it came the mockery in full swing.

Philippa held her clasped hands above her chest “We hurt her feelings!”

Prudence cupped her own face with her hands “Oh, no! Poor little baby”

“You two are unbearable!” Penelope motioned to move away but Prudence stopped her.

“Oh, what? will you go running up to your room because you’re a little uncomfortable now?”

“So am I supposed to just stay and stand your abuse?”

Prudence chuckled “Oh, grow up! We are just teasing you, you always over react.”

“So dramatic!” Philippa quickly interjected.

“Let me give you some sisterly advice now that you are to be married -when life puts you in a truly uncomfortable position you won’t be able to just retreat and hope for no one to notice you. It might have served you well to stay out of our little troubles here at home, but once you’re running your own household you won’t be able to just go and stay in your room forever, writing letters and reading books.” Prudence seemed genuine, which for some reason upset Penelope.

“Yes, I tried. It does not work.” Philippa warned, distracting Prudence for a second.

“So, yes, you should stay and maybe fight back a little instead of running away when you feel uncomfortable. You might have fun for once if you choose to engage instead of discarding us immediately.” Penelope was surprised that her elder sister was actually offering her what seemed like honest, heartfelt advise and not just attacking her. Being with child had apparently softened her, she couldn’t decide if she cared for it, but she was now thinking that she might have been unknowingly hurting her sister’s feelings as well.

“I was not discarding you--” She was abruptly interrupted by Philippa who was talking as if Prudence had said nothing.

“Albion’s mother just came and took over the house. It was an utter disaster – She started rearranging the furniture in the drawing room!” Both Prudence and Penelope stared at Philippa “I told you I tried it and it doesn’t work, staying in your bedroom to avoid trouble”

“Are you having trouble with Mr. Finch?” Penelope was genuinely worried, she could not imagine what they would be fighting about, as all this time it seemed Mr. Finch was beyond besotted with her sister and worshipped the ground she walked on.

“He refused to get a poodle for me”

“A Poodle?” She nodded “Philippa that is just a tantrum”

“Well, it didn’t work”

“Naturally!” scoffed Prudence. “Where is mama? I want to show her my new ivory fan, Mr. Dankworth just got it delivered this morning.”

“See?” Philippa tilted her head and gave Penelope a knowing look.

“Can I see it?” Asked Penelope, more to try to prove the point than out of curiosity, but of course Prudence simply kept looking for Portia, ignoring her. Philippa shook her head.

“I told you”

“Hush! There she is.” And Prudence just walked away as succinctly as she had joined them.

Lord Debling had finally been able to excuse himself from her sisters’ husbands and had arrived at her side, just as Prudence had walked away.

“Mrs. Finch, may I steal my bride to be?”

“Of course my lord, I see my Albion needs me anyway” She bowed and went to join her husband

“Were your sisters giving you a hard time?” He said softly, with concern. They had always been on their best behaviour around him, but Penelope had told him how they used to mock her relentlessly, and even when she had said it quite matter-of-factly, he had noticed a tinge of sadness on her voice at the time. Through their courtship he had noticed Penelope rather envied the family life of her friends across the square, for her own had been markedly different.

“No.” She said, perplexed at her own answer “They were actually giving me advice.”

“I am glad to hear it, but you don’t look very convinced”

“It was just a very unusual, sincere conversation that I was not expecting in the least. What were you talking about with Mr. Finch and Mr. Dankworth?”

He smiled, clearly amused at the thought “They were welcoming me into the Featherington family --” It seemed he had more to add but Marina approached them.

“Lord Debling, Penelope, Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bridgerton”

“I hope you can forgive my husband’s absence, he is unwell and regrets not being able to join us in this happy occasion”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Nothing serious, I hope?”

“A terrible headache, my Lord, but nothing proper rest can’t cure, I’m sure. He’s been working terribly hard lately”

“He’s taken up work at the foreign ministry” Clarified Penelope.

“Oh, yes. With Lord Castlereagh, I assume?”

“Not directly, but under his office, yes. They keep him quite busy these days” Marina said with a little bite that might have slipped unintended.

“I’m sure it is only while he proves himself and learns the ropes. He’s just started, after all.” Penelope chimed, it was not clear to Lord Debling if she was offering reassurance to Mrs. Bridgerton or defending Mr. Bridgerton. Marina just smiled tightly.

“I hope your husband recovers soon, Mrs Bridgerton, please give him our well wishes”

“I will.” Marina smiled and playfully raised an eyebrow to Penelope as she caught the our in that sentence. “I must pay my respects to Lady Featheringon, if you’ll excuse me”

They started walking aimlessly, as they talked. “How do you gather that a man would be less busy after he learns the intricacies of a job?”

“Mr. Dankworth has told us how overwhelming it was for him when he started working on his father’s business, and how it took him long hours to get acquainted with everything he needed to do the job, so that he could be truly useful. Knowing Mr. Bridgerton, he must be trying to be useful immediately.”

“And you know him very well?” She didn’t like the slight frown on his face as he said this. The thought crossed her mind to reach out with her hand and smooth the frown away with her fingers, but she contained herself.

“I know him enough to make a guess. As you know I am closely acquainted with his family and he is married to my cousin. I’ve spent quite some time with them and their children.” This seemed to satisfy him, and with the smile back on his lips, he said.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” She lifted her eyes as she blushed, and quickly looked back down. Even now, she still couldn’t get used to receiving compliments and being the object of such a flirtatious look.

“Thank you” She could not think of what to say in response to that, but from the corner of her eye she noticed Eloise was approaching, so she moved to shorten the distance “Eloise!”

“Pen! Lord Debling, how do you do?” She half remembered her manners

“Good evening, Miss Bridgerton. Shall I give you ladies some privacy?”

“That is very thoughtful of you, my Lord” Said Eloise, nodding. “Seen as how you’re taking her away from me forever, this small kindness will not be forgotten”

“Oh, I am not taking her away, Miss Bridgerton, she is coming with me because she wishes to – I asked her -- she will be back with you as often as she desires.”

“I will hold you to it, my Lord” Eloise said with a tentative smile.

“Very well, I’ll leave you to it” He pressed his lips into a thin line and left them on their own.

“You are right. He doesn’t seem that bad.”

“I will give him your compliments” It was truly a compliment coming from Eloise. She must have liked him if she openly admitted he wasn’t that bad.

“I see the whole ton is in attendance, your mother truly went out of her way”

“Not everyone is here, though. Where did you leave your best friend, Cressida Cowper?”

“Oh, that’s... over” Eloise scrunched her face as she shook her head.

“Really? Oh, no that’s so terrible, I’m so surprised” Said Penelope without an iota of surprise or sadness in her voice.

“Spare me the mockery, please” She looked genuinely mortified.

“What happened?”

Eloise sighed and seemed to give it some thought before continuing, wistfully “There was a fundamental misunderstanding between us. She did not really ever try to understand most of what I said and I was not able to help her get a husband or escape her horrible family situation. She was understandably too worried about her future to enjoy my wit which is pretty much all I could offer her.”

“Now I feel bad for joking about it”

“You can send her a sympathy note to Wales, they’re apparently shipping her off there since her father has deemed her unmarriable now that the geezer he was giving her away to has passed of old age. Say how sorry you are you stole your Lord Debling from under her nose. You know, because she’s so tall and you’re so tiny.” She laughed at her own joke as Penelope rolled her eyes. “I tried to convey my regret that I was not able to help her situation, I truly can’t think what I could have done for her.”

“I cannot believe myself, but do you think it would be helpful at all if Lady Whistledown brought attention to the fact that she is being shipped off for the crime of not having had the luck to secure a marriage?”

“Maybe that will shame her parents enough to let her stay.”

“You truly are a very good friend, Eloise”

“Considering I just revealed to you, the most notorious gossip in Mayfair all about her very personal situation, I’m not sure I believe so, but thank you for the sentiment.”

“You know I would not use anything you tell me without your agreement. And I think she should count herself lucky that you worry about her at all. I am sure she does not worry about anyone else’s problems. And precisely because I don’t think she is the only one in such a situation is that I will say something about it.” She nodded, assuringly.

Suddenly Penelope felt like she was being watched. For a moment she thought she had seen a dark tall figure in the shadows behind the rose bushes, but as she searched, she was met with Lord Debling’s mirthful eyes and slightly tilted head. He seemed to be questioning if she was going back to him any time soon. She found this rather charming, for some reason. There it was this man, an extraordinary man, who even when he was surrounded by friends, still seemed to want her company – which in itself was already something – but he’d still rather wait for her to come to him than interrupt a moment of privacy previously granted.

“Go on. I should start getting used to it, I have had all season as practise” Eloise did seem a little hurt, not that she would ever admit it earnestly.

“He’s a patient man, he can wait a little longer.”She said this looking at him, even though she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her, but he still seem to acknowledge he was being teased.

“Look at you, so sure of yourself! It becomes you, Pen.”

“Tell me about your plans for this summer”

All night was spent with the betrothed couple being mostly apart from each other, talking to different people and stealing joyful, teasing, covetous glances at each other.

And then, in a rare moment chance allowed, where it was the two of them, wearied of the crowd they went to hide behind the rose bushes, where they sat on a bench and laughed at the absurd size of the party and informed each other of the things of note that had been said to them by well wishers. It was there, as they prepared to go back to the crowd where he had kissed her in a way that made her feel like time had stopped.

“We should rejoin the party before our absence is noted” She said

“Do you think they really will?” Penelope laughed, but he was already standing and offering his hand to her.

His eyes danced as he looked at her, a marvelled expression in his face. It was an alien but wonderful feeling for Penelope to feel admired in this manner. She nodded, on instinct, and he pressed his lips unto hers, his hand hovering at the back of her head, as if unsure. The warmth of his tongue softly caressing her bottom lip made her gasp, allowing for his further venturing, his grasp landing firmly at the nape of her head and softly at her back.

When they parted, he found his smiling eyes still fixed on hers. He whispered “That was for teasing me all night”

She smiled. “Was that supposed to be punishment?”

He shook his head “Not at all.”

***

Dear Gentle readers,

As the social season rapidly approaches it’s end, one can’t help but wonder what sad destiny awaits those young women, with all of their accomplishments and refined graces when luck does not bestow their favour upon them, and refuses to grant them the security of a marriage proposal soon enough to satisfy their eager families? It seems sometimes cruelty is found where unconditional affection should be, and this author poses to you one more question: How is a young lady to make herself agreeable to any gentleman, if all she knows from the very bosom of her family is coldness and indifference? These are hardly qualities attractive to, well, anyone with a beating heart.

Season after season, quietly but surely we encounter the sudden disappearance of young women cast away by their families to faraway relatives for the heinous crime of not having gotten a marriage proposal in the time frame imagined by their parents. One could understand if this were the case of an impoverished family who could no longer support the burden of a young lady under their roof, but that cannot possibly be the case for the fair ladies of the ton.

I posit that perhaps the heir making machine would work better if we stopped thinking of it as that, and conferred it the humanity it is actually made of. More success would probably be achieved from a caring and nurturing environment than from the cold setting of deadlines and the pressure to generate attachments out of thin air.

The season is not over yet, and the Cowpers were already notably absent from the elaborate celebration thrown by Lady Featherington on the occasion of her daughter, Miss Penelope Featherington’s upcoming nuptials and it was not due to a lack of invitation.”

Chapter 16

[stardustloki]

I came back the same (it's you who's changed)

Padme comes back as a force ghost. Only, there's something wrong about her. She's not a fan of the Empire. (Aka, when your dead wife comes back 'wrong', only she's the exact same as she's always been, but you're now a fascist sith lord.) Read on ao3 here.

Or read it under the cut...

The first time he saw her was a flicker in the window.

His breath didn’t catch. Couldn’t, with the suit breathing for him. But he started, swung around to look behind him.

There was no one there.

There was no one when he looked in the window either.

But he’d felt sure, just for a second, that it had been her.

—

She was everywhere, popping in the corner of his vision, disappearing whenever he focused too much.

It was driving him to distraction.

“Are you quite alright, Lord Vader?” Tarkin asked drily, and Vader had to bite down the impulse to strangle him. Unfortunately, his master had made it clear that while he didn’t begrudge Vader executing his more incompetent inferiors, Tarkin was a particular favourite, and there would be consequences were he to ever be disposed of. It grated.

“I sensed a disturbance,” he replied, sure he sounded suitably ominous through the monotone respirator.

The other officials at the meeting looked wary, uncomfortable. Tarkin just appeared bemused.

One day, one day, he would have the Moff’s respect. One day he would convince his master of his irrelevance.

—

They were sitting in the field, in the lake country. But the breeze that blew couldn’t touch him in his suit, and all the landscape had morphed into shades of red.

“We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problems,” he heard himself saying, the expression of his former self mixing with the droid-like tone of his current voice, “agree what's in the best interests of all the people, and then do it.”

Padme hardly waited a second before arguing, voice baffled, but intent. “That’s exactly what we do! The trouble is that people don't always agree. In fact, they hardly ever do.”

“Well, then they should be made to,” Vader said. He’d been half joking, teasing her, when he’d first said it, when fields still appeared in shades of green, but now he knew it to be truth.

“By whom?” she demanded, incredulous. “Who’s gonna make them?”

“It should have been you,” he replied, and watched as she recoiled.

—

Sometimes, he wondered if he were going mad. If, finally, this was the thing that had made him snap. There was another part of him that felt he'd already done that - snap, that was. In the blurred days at the end of the war, where he hadn’t known who to turn to, who to trust, days that he remembered only as being a haze of rage and bloodlust, as he'd felt the true power of the force for the very first time, as he'd revelled in it, drowned in it.

Sometimes she was there, standing right in front of him, watching him.

What was strange was that she seemed angry. Vader didn’t understand why - she had no reason to be. After all, she was the one who’d betrayed him, the one who’d sided against him with Obi Wan.

He regretted strangling her, though. In his defence, he hadn’t had a good handle on his emotions, or the dark side, at that point in time. Now, he felt sure that she would have come round to his point of view if she hadn't died. That they could have got rid of Palpatine. That she would have been the most wondrous of Empresses. He would have worshipped her.

Whenever he saw her now, he never saw her smile.

—

Slowly, everything became worse.

Padme stayed, for longer and longer periods of time, no longer just a glimpse, a flicker of his imagination. She glowed, like a pale hologram. Through his mask he saw her in shades of red. He wished he could see her in colour again.

The first time he heard her speak was to insult the admiral he was meeting with.

After that, she wouldn’t shut up.

—

It was hard, hearing her voice, as distorted as it was through his helmet.

What was harder still, was hearing the words that she spoke.

Of course, some of it he agreed with, the politicians and generals were ineffectual, self-serving, greedy, Vader even found himself using some of her points against them during their meetings. But, they were also doing their best for the Empire.

Padme… didn’t seem to like the Empire, which was hard to understand, because it functioned so much better than the Republic. He’d been sure that, if she’d still been alive, she would have recognised how much better everything was now there was a strong system of government in place. But she seemed to hate it. Raged against it.

What was the hardest, was realising that this apparition couldn’t be Padme.

—

As he finished a call with his master, the apparition glared at him, arms folded, looking at him like she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

During the meeting, the Emperor had asked if there was something on his mind.

Darth Vader had not told him that there had been a spirit with him, ranting and raving, tossing scorn at every syllable that came from Sidious’s mouth.

“Why do you do what he tells you?”

He ignored the apparition. She was not Padme, she merely took her form. A cruel mockery.

“No, really,” she continued. “You. Anakin Skywalker. You were proud you were free. You never let anyone tell you what to do. You ignored orders. You knew what was right and wrong… well, mostly. Suppose this is what I get for not seeing the signs,” she scoffed, looking defeated for a moment. The part of him that wouldn’t accept that this was not Padme wanted to wrap her into his arms upon seeing her expression, not that he was much good at offering comfort. Not anymore. She sighed, looked straight at him, eyes blazing. “When did you start kneeling at the feet of your “Emperor” and thinking it was natural? You’re a person, Anakin. You’re not just his killing machine.”

“You don’t know what I am, you’re not her.” He hadn’t been expecting to speak. He hadn’t let himself since realising the truth, the truth that she wasn’t who she appeared to be.

“Excuse me?”

“You share her form, but you’re not her, and you don’t know me,” he replied, voice steady through his vocoder.

They argued, in a way he felt certain they hadn’t during the war. How dare ‘Anakin’ not recognise her, after he crushed her throat beneath his grip, after she’d trusted him, believed in him - the last person to do so.

In the end, he almost believed her, believed she could be Padme. A warped, strange version of her, one who made him question immutable facts, but a Padme nonetheless, a Padme who came back from the dead wrong.

So he asked, asked what he could do for her. (Told her he still loved her).

“Yeah? Bring back democracy.”

He sighed. And to think he’d almost believed this apparition, this spirit, this deception sent through the force to trick him. Padme had known their system was crumbling, complained endlessly about the senate, about the ongoing war, about how no-one would listen to her try to bring about initiatives that would give peace. She’d felt furious, powerless, had told him countless times that she wanted systematic change.

He’d brought that. The Empire had stopped the politicians and their meaningless in-fighting. They had ended the war with the Separatists.

So no, the furious vision that stood before him was not Padme at all.

[calpalsworld]

Reading through the OREGON ULTIMATUM tags is quite interesting especially the characters the way some of the art looks reminds me of David feiss (the guy who made cow and chicken) and i could see it animated in that style. Do you have any voice claims for any of the characters? idk why but i hear dr. window having a midwest accent.

I've never watched Cow and Chicken but thank you *takes notes*

Dr. Windows lives in Ultimatum, Oregon, and attended PCS (Portland College of Science). (These are not real locations and are not meant to parody any real locations.) BUT... Where she lived beforehand is ambiguous... so she could've grown up in the midwest!!!

(and im midwestern so tbh they probably all have midwestern accents when in my head)

MORE BELOW

If I was actually to cast them, it may be difficult to find the right voice actors, because Dr. Windows and Dr. Treetop both have speech disorders/impediments. Dr. Windows has mildly slurred speech and a prominent lisp, and Dr. Treetop has disorganized/stuttery speech.

I usually put Windows' dialogue in italics. Its meant to indicate her speech disorder. Their speech is consistently slurred and they struggle most with "s" sounds.

As for Treetop, I've been thinking a lot about how I should type out his struggles with continuity. I want it to be in a way that is accessible for readers and seems accurate to real life. Unlike Windows, his speech disorder isn't consistent, and it affects the things he says, so it is something that has to be typed out. If anyone has any good examples on how to handle stutters in writing/comics I'd eat the suggestion up.

ANYWAY, for voice claims....

Hellmann - I'm unsure... They are emotional so definitely a voice that can sound neurotic and get mad.

The Hivemind - Limbic system from disco elysium but with a layering effect. Perceiving its "voice" physically feels warm.

Windows - Ummm gay and androgynous, metaphorically warm, soft but not quiet. (In my head, I sometimes imagine something similar to Raine Whispers from the Owl House ngl)

Treetop - Hissed, intense, particular with his words, usually monotone. Since he's supposed to come off as intimidating, I originally imagined him with a deep, rumbly voice, but ehhh I'm not a fan of that anymore. His voice definitely wouldn't be intimidating, he would sound like a pathetic edgelord. (In my head I imagine him sounding similar to Razer from GLTAS...??? but i can also picture something less aggressive, like patho 2 bachelor).

Sutthi - nasally and deep (Honest to god I think I've been imagining Squidward Spongebob in my head.)

Cuautle - I have this distinct voice in my head for some reason. Normal and old but very androgynous for no particular reason. Over the phone people probably think they are a woman.

Anthill - Sounds Scared. Been watching dungeon meshi and yeah, she would probably sound like english dub Marcille.

But yeah I dont mind if people imagine them differently and have their own headcanons :)

[cryopathiic-a]

"Otousan?" A groggy sounding voice from a young demon. The brother of the siblings the elder had rescued only a few short months ago. A blink of the eye for a demon.. Though often the more cautious of the siblings, this time he seemed a bit more.. open? Perhaps was the word.

But seemed like he was holding something in his hands. A book?

"One of your humans gave this to me, they interrupted my nap. I don't know why." Indeed, it was a children's book. The young demon couldn't.. quite read. Yet at least. Still settling into their new life took a bit more priority.

"I almost threw it at them, but.. They give you things all the time, so maybe it was meant for you?" ( Have some more young/freshly turned Gyutaro for the new years! @deathly-toxins )

In the near century of his demonhood, Dōma had not shut his eyes once. Even watching the younglings nap seemed odd at times; so rigid and stiff, like dead. Then, their little eyes would crack open and there would be noise again. Daki's incessant whining and the persistent gnashing of Gyutaro's bottomless pit of a maw. As peculiar as the experience of having them around was, though, what stuck out to Dōma the most ought to be the way these two had begun to react to his presence. Daki flocking to his robes for comfort when her still forming feral visage was revealed to passing strangers, or Gyutaro walking up to him with requests like this...

It was different from when humans asked for things. Although Upper Two couldn't explain how it differed.

Hair laden with ornaments bounces gracefully with the Lord's abrupt turn on heel. Dōma's palm almost instictively comes to cup the child's head, his hand large and heavy as it ruffles through unruly tufts of black and green. A saccharine cant of the head later, the book is being held up in his direction and Dōma himself seems a little dazed by the sight.

Fingers idly reach to trace the cover before prying it from those little hands. And he holds it up to read out the title. There's that brief recollection of being read to, as a child. But a mere flip through the pages would reveal that this is something much more colorful than the monotonous sutras and chants he had been brought up with.

❝ It's a book, mochi. I think they meant to gift it to y— ❞ Threw it back at them? The elder demon lets out a scandalized gasp, his fingertips gracefully hovering over pale lips. ❝ Oh, little Gyutaro... You probably do not know this, as you were raised on the street. But when someone gives you a present, you should say —❞ At which point the demon gives an accurate depiction of the act, palms pressed under his chin and all. ❝ — 'thank you very much!' And accept it. Even if you don't like it, it's better to accept it and say thank you first and then eat them for displeasing you. ❞

The finger held up as Upper Two offers his wisdom is promptly lowered then, just as Dōma himself kneels closer to the freshly turned demon-child.

❝ Now, since you also can't read, this gift is a little useless for you. So, how about we go back to your room and I'll read this story to you until you fall asleep? My parents used to do that all the time for me and it always worked, especially because all their stories were stupid and boring. ❞ He holds up the book with a smirk. ❝ If one of my humans gave you this, I bet this one is going to be even more stupid. Humans only tell their children stories to get them to behave, after all. Can you imagine? Hey, let's grab a bite and laugh at this together afterwards. How does that sound? ❞

[sohojware]

How to Create Engaging Web Content: Capture Attention and Keep Users Coming Back- Sohojware

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[demon-of-side-quest-hell]

Voice headcanons for CKC that I'll edit into a video sometime in the future.

Cody - Rex Splode (Invincible) I like Rex, I think his voice sounds appropriately young and impulsive, some of these characters I wanted to make sure the voices sounded "young" but others I just didn't and for Cody I think it's because to me, him because some dumbass dipshit 18 y/o (iirc) is very important, I want him to be able to sound very confident one moment and then doubting himself entirely the next, and Rex Splode in Invincible shows off that range really well in one fight scene

Peter - Ensign Sam Rutherford (Star Trek: Lower Decks) Peebs was a difficult one for me, because when I read the game with Aster I do a voice akin to Boy from H:TP, but that's not really a great "Peter (CKC)" Voice. The funny answer would be get Tom Holland, but I'm not here for jokes I'm here for serious head canons, so I searched my mind palace looking for dweebish dudes who sounded a bit higher pitched, and honestly Rutherford was the best pick. He's got this charming voice that easily slips into sad puppy dog but can sound confident

Mini (Cool/God) - Grimal (Hunter: The Parenting) This'll make more sense once I make the video version of this

Mini (Loser/Average) - ^Same character but like I need you to imagine a slight southern accent on it. THIS IDEA IS ENTIRELY SUPER BIASED BUT I ALWAYS HEADCANON THAT MINI NATURALLY HAS A BIT OF A SOUTHERN ACCENT INHERITED FROM KATY WHO HAS A MUCH STRONGER ACCENT AND I AM WILLING TO DIE ON THIS HILL

Juvie - Jay (Jay & Silent Bob/Other View Askew projects) DO NOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU THINK OF JUVIE SAYING ANY DIRECT JAY QUOTES, JUST IMAGINE JAY READING OUT SOME JUVIE LINES. That aside, Juvie in my mind has a raspier voice, and while Aster does it amazing as *incredibly* raspy, lorewise that's not so good, but Jay has this slight raspiness and a good aloof tone

Holden - My brain is fighting on whether Holden is Alex Eggleston (Yiik: a postmodern RPG) or Michael (Yiik: a postmodern RPG) but I'm leaning more towards Alex. I think Holden sounds the oldest of the main cast, but as I understand, lorewise Daniel should, which I've elected to ignore because I know a better voice for Daniel

GG - I dunno, I'd probably find the right voice if I rewatched all the JelloApocalypse stuff again, but off the top of my head either Percy (Epithet Erased) or Weh (Dogs in Love) I think GG generally sounds very apathetic and/or monotone.

Peggy - Zora Salazar (Epithet Erased) just imagine her as more nervous.

Daniel - Zee Bashew (D&D Youtuber I like), this one's very personal but I actually find it difficult to imagine a wizened wizard in D&D without at least somewhat thinking of Zee. Zee to me is like the very definition of "Person who sounds like they know alot about D&D". I think of Zee's "Everybody's lying about dice" video specifically

Rhyme - Okay I spent the most time looking for Rhyme's voice, because I think that Rhyme should sound young while still being imposing & serious, which as one could guess is difficult, and I had to drop that, so I've decided to land on Agent Carolina (Red vs Blue) I wish I could say a specific Carolina moment which sells me on it, but I don't wanna start a while rewatch if RvB rn

[my-blessed-prince]

Sunday Excerpts, Home in Narnia, Ch. 1, Verity POV, pt. III

@vsnotresponding @olive-riggzey

It had every imaginable and unimaginable chore on it. Dishes, dusting, shoveling the driveway, cooking, and much more. 

“Mother, when do you want this done?” Verity asked.

“That’s for tonight. There’s more for tomorrow.”

Lao’s eyes bugged. She was certain that they were sharing the same thoughts. This would take far longer than five hours. 

“Stop staring, and get working.”

“It’s so long, it’ll take time to read.” Lao said in a monotone voice.

“Then read faster. I’ll be in my room. When I come out, I better find two busy-bees.”

Her mother left the two of them in their shock. The door shut a little too loudly, and the anxieties poured out of Verity. “She wants me to be her slave.” She said in a frantic whisper.

“Not even the boarding masters give this many chores to delinquent students.” Lao said with a glare. “We couldn’t finish this by midnight!”

“Do you think I could pass as a boy? Be Veros?”

“Might be hard when you get…breasts….” Lao said, and she noticed his eyes remained precisely on her face and nowhere else. In another situation, it would be rather funny to see Lao be so awkward about her budding breasts.

“The authorities will say that it is her right.” Verity said with folded arms.

“There’s a boy at our school that I’m pretty sure is abused.” Lao said. “A teacher reported to an authority, and they didn’t do anything. Said it was a private matter. He has bruises.”

“And he’s a boy. I’m a girl.” 

“A stupid notion. Boys should do house chores too. Who wants to be an unpaid maid for the rest of their life?”

“No one.” Verity said in a monotone voice.

After a slight pause, Lao asked. “Should we get started? I can take on most of these, if you want to do the easier chores.”

“Do you really mind–”

“I’m not the one stuck here.” Lao said.

“Thanks.” Verity said, and she kissed his cheek again.

Lao’s whole body went stiff, and he cleared his throat. “Alright, for starters–”

The two of them went over the list, and Lao took the most demanding chores. With some exploration they realized that the kitchen appeared like it hadn’t been cleaned the whole time Verity had been gone. There were cockroaches, and she saw a mouse run across the tiled floor. 

“Yeah, I can do the kitchen.”

“I really can do it–”

“No.” Lao said.

They went around the house more, determining which rooms were dirtiest. The bathroom’s were wretched, and Lao offered to take those too. The cleanest room was the main room, and that would be the one that Verity would do. The backyard was full of weeds, but it wasn’t the same nastiness that permeated the rest of the house, so she offered to do that as well.

The two of them took on their separate chores, and Verity’s mind spun while she scrubbed away grime on the coffee table, vacuumed the dusty carpet, and wiped off the sitting chairs at least three times for each chair.

These were the easy chores, and she was getting tired. Lao was doing the more difficult ones, but he wouldn’t be here forever. No, in a matter of two weeks, he would be going off to school with the others.

She would be staying behind here, working away. Her mother periodically came to check on her, and her fingers tightened around the rag she used to clean. Verity would never see anyone, but that dreadful woman for months and months on end.

It was unthinkable. 

She finished cleaning the main room, and she went to check on Lao. His hair, which almost always was in a long black braid, was currently tied up in a high bun. He had pink rubber gloves on, and he was ferociously scrubbing at a stain on a plate that looked like it had crusted over months prior.

He had yet to notice that she was in the same room as him. Lao had been in here for at least two hours, and hardly a dent had been made in the dishes.

An unutterable idea flitted across her mind. She could run away. Live somewhere else. Pretend to have no records, and be an orphan. Their world wasn’t kind to orphans or little girls, and it stayed stuck in her mouth.

Leaving Lao, she went back to do her other chores. She probably should have started with the outside, but it was cold. She was to get rid of icicles, shovel the driveway full of snow, and do much more.

She put on her winter coat and mittens again, and she grabbed the shovel from the garage. It was nearly as tall as she was. With her back bent, she started to shovel away the foot of snow. Her mind wandered with repetitive work. How bad could it be to run away? Surely, the streets were better than this. At least the homeless had variety, and perhaps they would be kind to her. If they weren’t kind to her, it wouldn’t be the same hurt of knowing that one’s mother hated her. She was the less preferred daughter. Alina was never asked to stay home from boarding school. Was it because her sister had been docile? Verity tried her best to hold her tongue, but it was a bit difficult when around her mother. 

After being in the cold for who knew how long, her fingers started to become numb. She rested down her shovel in the snow, and she rubbed her hands together. This was impossible. Lao was doing the hard work, she would simply die without him. Her own mother would work her into a ditch.

Her body shivered, and she remembered how she hadn’t had lunch or dinner. Her stomach grumbled impossibly loud, and she cursed under her breath. Lao was probably still stuck doing the high pile of dishes with food caked on them for months on end.

The night was waning on, and Verity wondered how long the two of them had been working. She had been outside for at least two hours, hadn’t she? The driveway to her home was long and wide. Would Ray and Lee show up soon? What would she tell Ray? Would he care? He tended to have a blindspot towards their mother. 

Down the road, she saw her father’s car. He had been more distant since Alina’s death, but surely he would fight for her not to be a slave. Due to the heavy snow, her father parked on the side of the road. He got out of the car, and he shook his head at the foot of snow in their driveway.

She ran towards him. “Dad!” She wrapped her arms around him, something that hadn’t been done in far too long. No hug was returned, but she didn’t let that dampen her spirits. “Dad! I missed you.”

“You should get back to working, Verity. The driveway is impossible.”

Her heart fell at the lack of affection returned. It was moments like these, that she wished she had been an orphan like Lao.

“Dad, she wants me to quit school. You’ll help me return, right–”

“It was my idea.” Her father said. 

The wind bit at her cheeks. “What?”

“I can’t possibly do the housework myself. Your mother has been insufferable since Alina died. I thought it was a good solution to have you stay home and do the work yourself.”

“I want to learn, daddy.” Verity said.

“I’m sorry, Verity. Sacrifices need to be made.”

Without further word, her father went to return into the house. “I’ll be trapped.” Verity said in a small voice.

“You’ll be helping your family. What you’re supposed to do. Stop complaining and get this driveway cleared. The neighbors don’t like when I park on the side of the road.”

“Will you help me?” Verity asked.

“I’ve been working all day. It’s nearly 9:00 PM. I’m sure you can do it yourself.”

Her father went into the house, and the door shut behind him. Tears poured down her face, freezing to her cheeks. 

[dxsole]

"Fascinating." Whip, despite the near monotone, is interested. The occult is not his exact area of expertise, but Shawn's exploits and, of course, the handful of cases he's read about where a psychic or soothsayer of some sort had consulted on and in fact helped the investigation did make him wonder if he should look into bringing in more books about the subject.

At least, those that focused on how such abilities could be used in the art of crime solving. "I do my best to ensure all my patrons are satisfied with my wide breadth of offerings— The spirits included." AT least Shawn's spirits. Whip didn't know any spirits personally.

"That is what your gift is for, I believe— we are mere mortals with the usual thoughts and simple routines; your ability to converse with the spirit realm is an unfair advantage...for criminals I mean." To Whip himself, it was an admirable trait and one he hoped to see more of in the future (helping out on that one case was more than enough danger than he ever needed, but it was still the most exciting thing he's ever been involved with).

"I have not— I'm saving it for..." His voice lowers for no reason seeing as they were alone in the bookstore. "I have sent a correspondence to Mister Saberwait's publishing house. I am hoping to secure a book reading at this very bookstore." His voice suddenly perks up, like the prospect of Phillip Saberwait being right here, in his own humble store was simply too much to bear.

"Could you imagine? The man himself? Reading to us all? I'm hoping to receive confirmation this week, but I shan't sneak even a peek at the first chapter. I would love for the first pages to be read in person."

just…in the neighborhood - whip & shawn

[agentunwin]

i think im gonna go to this party tomorrow. alone. just to force myself out of my room. maybe ill have fun. maybe ill get snatched. either one is fine with me at this point.